Choices/ Dreams-Shapers of reality (21 May 2011)

 I dreamt a dream last night

I was sitting on a little wooden raft with five friends in the middle of the sea. As with the unpredictable vicissitudes of dreams, their faces remained masked in an indecipherable vacuum of blurriness. Replicating this phenomenon of dreams, the entire world seemed condensed into a spherical shape. The darkness that seemed so prominent in the night seemed to be even blacker within this world, as if it were swirling tendrils of some ominous beast drifting overhead. The stars too, the once diminishing dim blots now hoarded the sky, pulsating with great insistence and illuminating the world in a rhythmic pattern. 

I took a brief survey of the surroundings. To the left and right of me, there was the majestic sea, reflecting the multitudinous twinkles of the stars above, and as far as the eye could follow, it was just water and nothing more. However, in front of me, there was a little island. It was an extremely small piece of land that seemed to bob languidly in the ocean. A tiny little spotlight on the island intermittently spurted out weak bursts of white light in my direction, casting faint shadows on the raft. That was all.

Then,  I looked behind me and for a moment, froze.

I could not comprehend the eminence of the capital that I faced. There were warm yellow glows of light everywhere and the infrastructures; elegant in design and furnished with enamelled marble seemed to ascend to the heavens. It seemed like paradise and I could even hear rapturous carousing from what I imagined must be the legions of people partying within those walls. There was even a gigantic neon sign saying “WELCOME ALL”

Frankly, I was content to rest on the raft with my friends. However, the frigid waters were beginning to seep into the wood and I could already feel my damp pants.  Feeling a slight shiver, I grabbed hold of the oars that had suddenly materialised in my hands and began to turn around and sail to the large inviting capital. Taking one last glance around, I saw the little island there, also beckoning to me in a soft gentle manner. It seemed so serene there with its little white light. So very peaceful indeed.

In fact, it seemed so tranquil that I reversed my decision and raft, rowing towards the little island instead. I knew that residing in this island would not bring me euphoria or even happiness, but it would bring me contentment and fulfilment. In solitude, I could find joy that transcended all the pleasures of the city. However, I simply could not. Though my mind wanted to, my physical self had life on its own and together with the urgings of my friends, the raft began to move steadily in the direction of the portentous city. My mind screamed in defiance but nothing happened. With rapid progress, we approached the shores of the city and the small island with its tiny, mournful flickering light, vanished from sight.

I woke up with a startle.

Somehow, even in the cool of the night where all was still, I felt a pensive melancholy stirring intensely within me.

 And somehow I knew, I knew that even in the dream, I had made the wrong choice.